Dave's first Rogue experience

By Dave Childers

It may have been the fifth annual Rogue Festival for Fresno, but it was the first ever Rogue experience for Dave. And while it would have been nearly impossible to see everything, Dave did take his notebook along for a ride on the first Friday and Saturday of the festival and had the following to report:

Friday

6:48 p.m. - The Epic Theater production of "Supernova in Hamlet" begins in 12 minutes and -- shockingly -- I'm running behind schedule. I'm not saying it is habit, but I'm late more often than the test subject at a generic condom factory.

6:49 - Anyone else think that "Supernova in Hamlet" sounds like a Denny's breakfast promotion gone awry?

6:54 - My photographer is doing a radio interview and I am listening as I drive. I would use his name, but he just referred to me as "his reporter," so two can play at that game.

7:04 - After a rousing "Smokey and the Bandit" impression on the freeway, I arrive at the performance, only to find out that the time was changed to 9 p.m. If only they had a Web page where I could have checked this information. Oh, wait, they did. It just wasn't updated. Not the way you want to start a night, a weekend, or a relationship with an organization.

7:05 - Almost forgot ... This play was held at what appeared on the outside to be a pretty normal Tower District residence. I was wondering if I was supposed to bring some steaks to throw on the grill or something.

But it turns out that Severance House, while indeed a house, has actually been a ballet venue for many years and now will be doing some dramatic productions. And -- you know what -- it's a FUN little space.

8:53 - Time to head back for the show -- and to kick off my Rogue Experience.

9:05 - The play is very interesting. Two couples crisscross the stage -- and the dialogue -- on a very modest set. The play seems very edgy, which in this case means "more than several seemingly meaningless f-bombs included for shock value."

9:14 - The play is funny -- even very funny at times. But the lady sitting in front of me laughs so loud she registers on the Richter scale.

Add that to the deafening sound of "my photographer's" neck cracking at a pivotal moment in the play, and I can barely maintain my focus and composure.

9:42 - "Supernova in Hamlet" concludes. It was very entertaining and a great start to the festival for me. Two thumbs up (OK, I don't really have a partner, you got me).

10:08 - Had intended on seeing "The Return of Ishtar." No, it isn't a sequel to the highly successful and critically acclaimed film from 1987. It's belly dancing. Now I think you better understand my disappointment at missing the show.

11:22 - I begin the first of what will prove to be several long stints at the Starline's bar. Hey, it's a great venue and Karin is one of the best bartenders in the business. I could do much worse.

11:48 - The Same Shape is rocking the house, though there are approximately 4 billion fewer people in attendance than a couple days earlier when I attended their CD release party.

12:01 - This just in -- the three finalists for the 2014 Winter Olympics are Sarajevo, Reykjavik, and the men's restroom at the Starline. In other words, it's freaking cold in that place.

1:16 a.m. - Famous last words, "Yeah, I'll be back tomorrow at 5:30 for the performance."

Saturday

6:49 p.m. - Finally arrive at Starline. Grab my shirt out of the back and suddenly realize that I left the special buttons at home and now have nothing to hold the sleeves together except white plastic clips from the dry cleaners. Lovely. With nothing on my schedule, I check out Symbiosis, some act from Fresno State.

7:00 - Symbiosis begins with a staged rap battle between these two guys that is so embarrassingly bad that you can't decide whether to laugh, cry or kick a puppy.

7:04 - I can't believe I passed up "Rogue Film" for this.

7:15 - On second thought ... No I didn't. I walk out and head over to Rogue Film after all. On the way I leave a message for "my photographer" to pick me up some cheap cuff links so I can ditch the white plastic clips.

7:25 - I make it over to Rogue Film, which really means "coffee shop with laptop, portable screen, projector and three Logitech speakers." But -- hey -- they are THX certified speakers.

7:41 - As might be expected with student films, these shorts are pretty bizarre. Or very bizarre in some cases. Now we are watching a series of silent films that one student submitted.

7:47 - After spending several minutes watching a silent film of birds just flying around in patterns, I am wishing that this guy had received a microphone for Christmas. There is a reason why "talkies" are alive and well, my friend.

8:11 - Man, Fresno State REALLY needs a film school.

8:42 - I catch the end of a two-person play called "Here and Now" starring some dude I don't know and the really loud laughter from the previous night's play. The show is solid and very interesting.

9:14 - My photographer finally shows up, but he does not have cuff links with him. Awesome. Apparently he has difficulty with checking his text messages, like he suddenly turned Amish in the last 45 minutes.

9:20 - Now I'm really desperate. I borrow a Sharpie from Karin. I'm coloring the white plastic clips black while everyone around the bar is staring at me. I swear I'm not making this up. Renee from the Rogue is now calling me "Cuffs."

10:00 - The start of the show that everyone has been buzzing about -- "Fear of a Brown Planet." It's a one-man comedy show by a Rwandan-born French Canadian. Somehow, the United Nations is NOT a sponsor.

10:44 - Uh ... Yeah. Now I know why this guy is the talk of the festival -- he is SENSATIONAL. Witty, intelligent, informed -- and darn funny.

11:12 - We consider taking off because there is supposed to be house music playing the rest of the night and we aren't interested. But luckily we stay and find that the music is actually a really, really good mix of much more mainstream stuff.

11:47 - I find out from one of the organizers that some people actually volunteer to let Rogue performers stay with them during the week so that they don't have to pay for a hotel. At first I can't understand it, but then I offer my place up for the 12 belly dancers from "Return to Ishtar."

12:28 - The DJ is spinning, the crowd is getting larger and all is right with the world.

1:01 - I call it a day -- and a festival. I will most definitely be paying more attention to next year's Rogue Festival.