From DONALD MUNRO's column - the Fresno Bee Feb. 27, 2005

She'll be in front of a paying audience in a tent behind Veni Vidi Vici at the Rogue Festival. She has agreed to do anything I instruct. My wish is her command. (Well, almost any wish; anything involving bodily functions or explicit sexual acts is out because she thinks they're "tacky and overused.")

Moad knows a good gimmick when she sees one. Last year, her entry in the ever-growing annual Rogue Performance Festival, which gets under way Thursday, mostly in the Tower District, for a two-weekend run, made cell phones a central part of her act. Her gimmick: She arranged with a different "guest director" before each show to call at an appointed time.

Using a headset with her cell phone, she dutifully followed whatever instructions the director offered. Same goes for this year. If the director tells Moad to squat down and hop like a bunny -- well, it's Peter Cottontail time for her. If ordered to slather her body in hot fudge, stand on one foot and sing the "Gilligan's Island" theme song, so be it. (As long as someone provides the chocolate.)

I enjoyed Moad's show last year, even though I did get hit in the head with a marshmallow. This time around, for "That Thing With the Cell Phone," she talked me, along with five other guest directors, into crossing the line from observer to participant. And make no mistake: There are more participants than ever this year at the Rogue. With more than 150 performances scheduled, there are 30% more acts this year than last, managing director Marcel Nunis estimates. Six acts are coming from the Bay Area, several from Southern California, and one each from Canada and England.

Independent film becomes its own component, taking up residence at Javawava (across from Fresno High School). Visual art has a strong presence. Tower stalwarts Starline and Veni Vidi Vici return as venues along with Dianna's Dance Studio and Ashtree Studio. In the BYOV (Bring Your Own Venue) category, Sequoia Brewing Co. and Full Circle Brewery downtown are hosting performers.

The Fresno Metropolitan Museum even gets into the act with a special screening of "Super Size Me" at the least fringelike place in town: Edwards Cinemas. (Yes, the Rogue has even infiltrated River Park.)

There are so many acts that it would be impossible to list them all in the newspaper, unfortunately. But a complete, updated list and master schedule -- in a printable PDF format -- is available online at roguefestival.com.

Patterned after successful fringe festivals from Edinburgh, Scotland, to San Francisco, the Rogue prides itself on its egalitarian nature. It's first-come, first-served. There's no jury determining what is "art" and what isn't. The only rules: No show is longer than one hour, the tickets are cheap (most are $6 or less, with many in the $3 range), and the proceeds all go to the performers.

The best way to do the Rogue is simply experiment. Cruise the lineup, and pick out some established acts that you've read about in the past or that are coming in from out of town. If you're in the thick of the festival, talk to people hanging out around the venues. Word of mouth is far more important at a fringe festival than name value or marketing -- and there's always some hot act that everyone will be talking about.

But don't forget to branch out. If something sounds wacky and intriguing, go for it. Never seen Javanese dance? This is your chance. You're an Upton Sinclair fan? See a one-man historical impersonation of the California governor's race of 1934. You're an arts educator? Receive a special "funky gift" for attending an evening of fiddle-playing, belly dancing and performance art. Dating tips for the self-loathing? Catch the stand-up comedy of Jaguar Bennett, described by his girlfriend as "a truly strange man."

What's the most you can lose? A few bucks, a little of your time. But you just might stumble upon something stellar.

As for my guest appearance in the Rogue -- well, I've been giving some thought to the stage directions I'll deliver to Moad via cell phone.

She wants random performance art? She's going to get it.

I want you, my readers, to help me out. Tell me what Moad should do on stage. We can even order up props and costumes if they're doable. The resulting performance doesn't have to be funny; in fact, she'd prefer that this doesn't turn out as improvisational comedy a la "Whose Line Is It Anyway?" The only hard and fast requirement is this: The piece must include audience participation of some kind. She tells me this piece has always been about risk and challenge for everyone involved. "So push me, push yourself, and push hard," she says.

So what do you say? E-mail me your suggestions, and I'll try to work as many of them as I can into her act. With a potential half-million readers as "directors," we'll make this the biggest Rogue act in history.

The columnist can be reached at dmunro@fresnobee.com or (559) 441-6373.